INDEX

ALL ABOUT JANE
Meet Jane
Jane's Filmography
Vital Statistics
Secrets to Staying Fit
Charities
Alternative Medicine
St. Catherine's Court
Meet James Keach
James' Filmography

ARTISTIC VENUES
Jane as Artist
Jane Seymour Handbags
Signature Collection
Household Collection
Children's Clothing

BOOKS
Making Yourself at Home
Remarkable Changes
Romantic Living
This One & That One
Two at a Time

MISCELLANEOUS
Voting Polls
Trivia
Tic Tac Toe
Rosie's Mom Squad

PHOTO ALBUM
Just Jane

REMARKABLE CHANGES: Turning Life's Challenges into Opportunities

One | Three

Chapter Two: Find Comfort Where You Can

Seek the Calm at the Center

I don't believe we ever truly arrive anywhere in life. We, as well as our circumstances, are constantly evolving, constantly changing in large ways and small. When I hear people say if only they had this house or that job, or if only they could be in this relationship or out of that one, then all will be well and they'll be happy—I want to say, "Throw that thinking out the window!" That's just not the way it is.

However, in the midst of our ever-changing lives, there has to be a way to feel comfortable while change is taking place. Coming out of a huge change—like my divorce for example—is difficult: I don't think it all happens in one go. I think that bit by bit, one finds areas of comfort, of something that can lift one out of the circle of how did this happen, why did this happen, who do I blame, why me, and now what? A bit of familiarity and comfort can help each of us leave behind the should-have, could-have, would-have attitude.

For some of us, change comes quickly and we adapt quickly. For others, the transitions may be slowly evolving, and quite a bit of time may pass before we really take them in and make them part of our lives. In either case, we all have to do something in the meantime, between the upheaval and the settling in to a new situation. That's what this signpost is all about—finding comfort and a familiar place in the midst of the turmoil. What that comfort will be for each of us will be different, but it's worth looking around your life and knowing what will help you to bridge the old and the new when change comes along.

Our homes can offer such solace in times of turmoil. I've often found shelter in being quite domestic—which I consider a creative effort. It's true sometimes that finding comfort in the midst of change comes in the form of doing what is most familiar.

Everything in my life—and yours too, I daresay—is about changes and choices. Something changes, and we have a choice to make. The way I see it, there are two things you can do. One is to give up and mourn the death of the previous existence—and that's all right, and necessary, for a while. But the other choice is to process your feelings about the change that's happened, find a way to get comfortable with it, and press on.

Haven't we all seen even more change than usual, especially job changes, happening since September 11? I certainly have. I see people who've worked in the same company, the same job, for years suddenly thinking in new ways about who they are, what they've done, and what they want to leave behind.

So many, like James and me, have been following a career path that would give them all the usual credentials—money, property, prestige, awards. Perhaps what happened on 9/11 was a reminder that life can be far shorter and harsher than we expect it to be, and now many of us have stoppped and found another way to use our skills so that our hearts are filled as well. In doing so, we all have the opportunity to make choices that are, in themselves, remarkable.

But now less may well be more, and that "more" is feeling good about what you do, and knowing that you have made a difference for someone else. So many of us have lived with jobs we hate in order to maintain a lifestyle we don't have time for. When that has been pointed out, or tragically ripped away, there can come a clarity that says, "Maybe I'm not doing what I really want. Maybe there's something more for me."

Just like everything else that has to do with change, finding your personal spot—a place of comfort—is an individual journey.

When I can't get near water and I need its calm nature, music tapes with sounds of water are helpful. I have used music with all kinds of natural water sounds—a thunderstorm, waves crashing, every type of sound that water makes. They center me. If I'm doing something I have to concentrate on, I'll plug myself into this sound—have it playing in the background while I'm working. Instead of scattered thought—I have a laser focus. I find comfort in that sound—and in the focus that comes when I listen.

What it will be for you? Where will you find your comfort when change comes upon you? Near water, on long walks, alone in nature, cooking, doing crafts at home, painting, signing up for volunteer work? So many choices...so many ways to move from one signpost to the next, from finding comfort in the midst of turmoil to approaching the very heart of change—which is letting go.

The foregoing is excerpted from Remarkable Changes by Jane Seymour. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission from HarperCollins Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022